I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
