He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
