I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
