Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
is it fun? or sober?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
