Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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