i jhust puked up my retainher.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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