i don't like sucking hair
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
