Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
