You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
