even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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