can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
