i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
