My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
