Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
