Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
