I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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