So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
