Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize