Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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