were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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