Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize