butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
