I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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