Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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