I wish my penis had an off switch
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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