i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
