But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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