He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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