It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
