dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
