Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize