yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
