You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
