in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
