you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
