i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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