Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
