Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
