i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
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all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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