If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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