guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Randomize
