i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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