can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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