the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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