shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
