i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
God, you're like boner-b-gone
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
