Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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