So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
