id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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