Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize