Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
