Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
