So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
