it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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