I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
