got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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