Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
